The end is in sight.
But the editing is a blight.
The words blur by, the black, the red, the white.
This story is a garden that has been tended.
But God damn, I’m tired, exhausted, expended.
How many more rounds do I have to do before it is all ended?
One, five, nine?
After all this hard work, this story better bloody shine.
Then I have to do it again as it is one of many in my creative writing assembly line.
I had a thought today, what if I don’t get over my burnout completely until the one year anniversary ticks over. That’s next May! Right now I have no desire to write anything (despite writing this post) in fact, I’d rather shit in my hands and clap.
And I was starting to improve only a month or so ago too. I had slogged it out and got a novella out and did a draft of another, but maybe that was the reason. I pushed myself too much too soon.
The idea of story creation seems tedious and I’m having feelings of inadequacy. But that’s ridiculous because I’ve improved so much in recent times and I got the stories mapped out. But at the same time what if I fuck it up? What if later on, I find out that there is a better way to write it? What if I’m not the right on to tell this story? (But come on I’m the one that thought it up, I’m the only one to tell it) I’m all mixed up and nothing can really do anything about it but me.
It’s been over six months since I last touched this story. I’m so glad that I’m getting back to it because I want to get this done by my birthday in two months time.
The edits I’m doing are mostly line and word edits. No larger things like scene or chapter arrangements. I’m still iffy about the title, but I’m not sure what else to call it.
Currently, it’s 33,000 words and when I first wrote it I felt that I have improved a lot since my previous works. But now I’m seeing some things that I don’t like. Like how I’ve written some scenes. Or that I’ve referenced events sometime after they’ve supposedly occurred in the book. I think it’s going to take the readers by surprise and question why I’ve written it like that. I think I might have to go back and fix those in later drafts.
I’m going to be doing 30 blog posts, once a day, to prompt me into writing again. I’ve been slowly coming out of my burnout but sometimes writing still seems like a shitty assignment that I feel like I have to do rather want to do.
Only in the last few weeks that I’ve begun to have thoughts of returning to my works. I’ve got so many half-completed first drafts that it is not funny. Especially since I just begun another story and it might be a longish one too. I’m currently on the third chapter. This story is the one I mentioned a few days ago.